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Little Johnny and worms
by: Daniel100
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms,.... |
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Views:
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Comments: 1 |
Rating: 2 |
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Little Johnny can't count
by: Daniel100
"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"
"One dollar." answered little Johnny
"You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head,.... |
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Views:
107 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 1 |
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Little Johmmy amd the father Joseph
by: Daniel100
Little Johnny was on his way back home from the store with a
loaf of bread in one hand, and his other hand in his pants
pocket.
Off in the distance, Father Joseph sees little
Johnny and realizes this is the perfect opportunity to go preach .... |
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Views:
79 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 1 |
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A day at the zoo
by: Daniel100
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and.... |
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Views:
75 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 1 |
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Consultation fees
by: Sofia
A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for th.... |
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Views:
66 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 1 |
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You won't go to jail
by: Sofia
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn't want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never have to go to jail with all that money. And the lawyer was right. When.... |
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Views:
64 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 1 |
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Be politically correct
by: Sammy
How to be politically correct with women
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONC.... |
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Views:
61 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 1 |
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Compare the genders
by: Sammy
Differences Between Men & Women
NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer.... |
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Views:
53 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 0 |
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Short gender jokes
by: Sofia
What is the thinnest book in the world?
What men know about women!
Why don't men eat more M & M's?
They are too hard to peel!
What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50?
Gifted!
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bon.... |
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Views:
48 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 0 |
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Discussing finances
by: Sammy
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here." .... |
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Views:
66 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 0 |
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Men writing the rules
by: Sammy
If Men Were to Rewrite "The Rules"
Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one o.... |
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Views:
47 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 0 |
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Tell about a haircut
by: Sammy
The story of someone getting a haircut.
Women's version:
Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman2: Oh God no.... |
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Views:
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Comments: 0 |
Rating: 0 |
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The guide for women
by: Sofia
A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING:
I'M HUNGRY.
I'm hungry.
I'M SLEEPY.
I'm sleepy.
I'M TIRED.
I'm tired.
I'VE GOTTA GO.
Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.
WHAT'S WRONG?
I don't see why you're making suc.... |
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Views:
49 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 0 |
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New Microsoft Windows advertising slogans
by: Sammy
At the time of writing, Microsoft's slogan for Windows 95 was "Where do you want to go today?" These are some alternative and probably more truthful ad slogans for use with Windows.
1. Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.
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Comments: 0 |
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Husband 1.0
by: Sofia
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1.0 to Husband 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.
She is now noticing that Husband 1.0 is also spawning Child Processors w.... |
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Views:
43 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 0 |
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Error codes in Windows
by: Sofia
# WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger
# WinErr 002: No Error - Yet
# WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file
# WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong
# WinErr 005: Multitasking attempted - System co.... |
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Views:
48 |
Comments: 0 |
Rating: 1 |
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